How to Deal with a Culture of Critical Feedback

We've all received feedback at one point or another. There are many different kinds of feedback, including critical, constructive, positive, 360-degree, and developmental. While feedback can be extremely helpful, it can also be very destructive.

When I first started teaching yoga, the studio where I worked had a culture of spontaneous, undifferentiated feedback from anyone to anyone at any time. The studio leader or another teacher could drop into your class at any moment and deliver any kind of feedback they wanted—often predominantly critical—from the mat while you were teaching. The unspoken expectation was that you would incorporate this feedback immediately without comment. I found it very stressful, chaotic, and often confusing. Most of the other teachers I talked to were also stressed by this practice, and there was a lot of turnover at that studio.

Feedback Best Practices

Some Gallup best practices for giving feedback are:

1. Make Culture Explicit and Align Goals and Values With It

   David Foster Wallace shared a short story in his famous "This is Water" speech about two young fish swimming along when they meet an older fish swimming the other way. The older fish nods and says, "Morning, boys. How’s the water?" The two young fish swim on for a bit, and then one turns to the other and asks, "What the hell is water?"

   This story shows how the most important parts of our lives can be invisible to us because they are so familiar. Culture is one of those things that’s like water to a fish. It’s the shared set of values, beliefs, norms, and practices that guide everything we do, every decision we make, and every interaction we have. It's always there, so we often don’t notice it. But when we recognize and shape culture in the workplace, we can create more intentional and aligned practices.

   To build an intentional culture, talk about your team or organization’s values often, set goals that align with those values, and reward behavior that matches what you believe in. In short, make the implicit explicit.

   For example, if a yoga studio wants to keep things consistent by teaching one specific routine, make that known. This way, the feedback given can focus on whether the routine is being followed, making it less confusing and easier to understand and improve.

2. Use Recognition To Reflect Culture Goals and Values

   Recognition is individualized and positive feedback that acknowledges someone’s strengths in action—what you see people doing both correctly and with excellence. Gallup has discovered that it’s the most engaging style of feedback. Establishing your team or organization’s culture values and goals makes it clear what to recognize. Then, strategically recognize employees who exemplify the actions and behaviors you most want to see. In doing so, you tap into key principles of social learning, including positive reinforcement and modeling.

   At this studio, that could look like recognizing the teachers who are following the routine and executing it well, spotlighting their talents, and perhaps even having them mentor other teachers.

3. Consider Timing and Preference When Giving Recognition

   No matter the kind of feedback, it should be given soon after the observed behavior in a way that best suits the individual and allows for a two-way dialogue. When it comes to recognition, some people prefer public acknowledgment, while others prefer it in private. Avoid giving constructive feedback—feedback that addresses an issue—publicly.

   In the case of this yoga studio, the owner could take the time to learn each teacher's preference and communicate that to those giving feedback, ensuring it doesn’t happen during a class when a teacher couldn’t ask questions.

Gallup reports that employees who strongly agree that recognition is an important part of their culture are 3.7 times as likely to be engaged, 3.8 times as likely to feel connected to their culture, and half as likely to experience frequent burnout as those who do not. I share this information in the hope that if you are a leader, you might feel inspired to look more closely at how you can use feedback and recognition to motivate and improve performance on your team. If you’re a team member, I hope to equip you to have good conversations with other team members and leadership about how to install a culture of recognition.

How To Cope With Critical Feedback

But what do you do if you are not in a culture like that? What if you are that teacher who is exposed to one-sided, contradictory, or critical feedback? While it might cause you to reconsider whether or not you want to be a member of that team, here are some action steps that I and others have taken to help cope:

1. Be Proactive

   Don’t avoid feedback, be proactive about it. Whose feedback matters most? In the case of the teacher at a yoga studio, it might be the studio owner, the manager, or a mentor. Seek them out and ask for feedback before it’s given. Set up regular chats with key contributors.

   Also, start recognizing others on your team. Look for great work in your leader and your team members, and when you see it, share it. Create a habit of giving significantly more recognition than constructive feedback, and do so as frequently as possible.

2. Ask the Right Questions

   When you’re proactive, you have a lot more control over the questions and, therefore, the type of feedback you’re getting. In my experience, most people are primed to lead with "What am I doing wrong?" kind of questions. Instead, ask questions that draw out recognition, such as:

   • "What do you see me doing well?"

   • "Can you give me an example of a time when I used a strength that really helped the team or project?"

   • "In what areas do you think I contribute the most to the team?"

   • "What do you think I do differently from others that contributes to our success?"

   • "How have my efforts made your work easier or more effective?"

   • "What skills do you think I could teach others on the team?"

   • "How or where else could I use this strength or these skills more effectively?"

3. Work with a Gallup Certified Strengths Coach

   A Gallup Certified Strengths Coach understands the importance of recognition and can provide it when your workplace doesn’t. They can guide you on how to use your strengths to have feedback conversations as well as identify key stakeholders with whom to have these conversations. They can help you formulate the right questions and help you unpack the answers. They can also help you come up with strategies for preventing or managing burnout should you find yourself in a culture that focuses on your weaknesses.

Wrap Up

Each one of us has an influence on a team. Understanding your strengths helps you understand how you best influence. I love the quote from Simon Sinek: “The boss has the title. The leader has the people.” Not all leaders or change-makers are the ones with the title. You don’t have to be the one in charge to initiate change. You can impact your culture and be a leader as a team member by using recognition—recognizing the great work you and others are doing. Make it your habit first.

Interested in working with me to navigate a culture of critical feedback or install a culture of recognition? Schedule a free 30-minute call to discuss your goals and options.